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Extract
from Andrea Levy's latest novel:
Small Island
Hortense
It brought it all back to me. Celia Langley. Celia Langley standing in
front of me, her hands on her hips and her head in a cloud. And she is
saying: 'Oh, Hortense, when I am older' (all her dreaming began with 'when
I am older'). "When I am older, Hortense, I will be leaving Jamaica
and I will be going to live in England." This is when her voice became
high-class and her nose pointed into the air - well, as far as her round
flat nose could - and she swayed as she brought the picture to her mind's
eye. "Hortense, in England I will have a big house with a bell at
the front door and I will ring the bell." And she make the sound,
ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling. "I will ring the bell in this house when
I am in England. That is what will happen to me when I am older."
I said nothing at the time. I just nodded and said,
"You surely will, Celia Langley, you surely will!" I did not
dare to dream that it would one day be I that would go to England. It
would one day be I that would sail on a ship as big as a world and feel
the sun's heat on my face gradually change from roasting to caressing.
But there was I! Standing at the door of a house in London and ringing
the bell. Pushing my finger to hear the ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling. Oh,
Celia Langley, where were you then with your big ideas and your nose in
the air? Could you see me? Could you see me there in London? Hortense
Roberts married with a gold ring and a wedding dress in a trunk. Mrs Joseph.
Mrs Gilbert Joseph. What you think of that, Celia Langley? There was I
in England ringing the door bell on one of the tallest houses I had ever
seen.
But when I pressed this doorbell I did not hear a ring.
No ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling. I pressed once more in case the doorbell
was not operational. The house, I could see, was shabby. Mark you, shabby
in a grand sort of a way. I was sure this house could once have been home
to a doctor or a lawyer or perhaps a friend of a friend of the king's.
Only the house of someone high-class would have pillars at the doorway.
Ornate pillars that twisted with elaborate design. The glass stained with
coloured pictures as a church would have. It was true that some were missing,
replaced by cardboard and strips of white tape. But who knows what devilish
deeds Mr Hitler's bombs carried out during the war? I pushed the doorbell
again when it was obvious no one was answering my call. I held my thumb
against it and pressed my ear to the window. A light came on now and a
woman's voice started calling, "All right, all right, I'm coming!
Give us a minute."
I stepped back down two steps avoiding a small lump
of dog's-business that rested in some litter and leaves. I straightened
my coat, pulling it closed where I had unfortunately lost a button.
I adjusted my hat in case it had sagged in the damp air and left me looking
comical. I pulled my back up straight.
The door was answered by an English woman. A blonde-haired, pink
cheeked English woman with eyes so blue they were the brightest thing
in the street. She looked on my face, parted her slender lips and said,
"Yes?"
"Is this the household of Mr Gilbert Joseph?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Gilbert Joseph?" I said, a little slower.
"Oh, Gilbert. Who are you?" She pronounced
Gilbert so strangely that for a moment I was anxious that I would be delivered
to the wrong man.
"Mr Gilbert Joseph is my husband - I am his wife."
The woman's face looked puzzled and pleased all at
one time. She looked back into the house, lifting her head as she did.
Then she turned back to me and said, "Didn't he come to meet you?"
"I have not seen Gilbert," I told her, then
went on to ask, "but this is perchance where he is aboding?
At
which this English woman said, "What?" She frowned and looked
over my shoulder at the trunk which was resting by the curbside where
it had been placed by the driver of the taxi vehicle.
"Is that yours?" she enquired.
"It is."
"It's the size of the Isle of Wight. How did you
get it here?" She laughed a little. A gentle giggle that played round
her eyes and mouth. I laughed too, so as not to give her the notion that
I did not know what she was talking about as regards this 'white island".
I said, "I came in a taxi cab and the driver assured
me that this was the right address. Is this the house of Gilbert Joseph?"
The woman stood for a little while before answering
by saying, "Hang on here. I'll see if he's in his room." She
then shut the door in my face.
Gilbert
My mirror spoke to me. It said: "Man, women gonna fall at your feet."
In my uniform of blue - from the left, from the right, from behind
- I looked like a god. And this uniform did not even fit me so well.
But what is a little bagging on the waist and tightness under the
arm when you are a gallant member of the British Royal Airforce?
Put several thousand Jamaican men in uniform, coop them up while,
Grand Old Duke of York style, you march them up to the top of the
hill and then back down again and they will think of nothing but
women. When they are up they will imagine them and when they are
down they will dream of them. But not this group I travelled with
to America. Not Hubert, not Fulton, not Lenval, not James, not even
me. Because every last one of us was too preoccupied with food.
The only flesh we conjured was the sort you chewed and swallowed.
This was war. There was hardship I was prepared for
- bullet, bomb and casual death - but not for the torture of missing cow-foot
stew, not for the persecution of living without curried shrimp or pepper-pot
soup. I was not ready, I was not trained to eat food that was prepared
in a pan of boiling water, the sole purpose of which was to rid it of
taste and texture. How the English built empires when their armies marched
on nothing but mush should be one of wonders of the world. I thought it
would be combat that would make me regret having volunteered, not boiled-up
potatoes, boiled-up vegetables - grey and limp on the plate like it had
been eaten once before. Why the English come to cook everything by this
method? Lucky they kept that boiling business as their national
secret and did not insist that people of their colonies stop frying and
spicing-up their food.
I was brought up in a family with ten children. At
that dinning table at home one lax moment and half my dinner could be
gone to my neighbour. I learn to eat quickly whilst defending my plate
with a protective arm. But with this English food I sat back, chewed slowly
and willed my compatriots to thieve. I had not yet seen a war zone
but if the enemy had been frying up some fish and dumpling whose knows
which way I would point my gun.
Now I am telling you this so you might better understand
what a lustless and ravenous Jamaican experienced when he arrived, guest
of the American government, at the military camp in Virginia. The silver
tray had compartments so the food did not get messed up. Into each compartment
was placed bacon, eggs (two proper eggs!), sausages, fried tomato, fried
potatoes, toast, a banana and an orange. The cereal with milk was in a
little bowl to itself. My arm was round that plate of food before I had
even sat down. Only when I was assured that the rumour of second, third
or fourth helpings was not the reverie of a deranged mind, did I relax.
I swear many tears were wept over that breakfast. Paradise, we all decided,
America is paradise. A bath with six inches of water that rivalled the
Caribbean sea in my affection and more meals of equal, no, greater satisfaction
than the first, had the word paradise popping from our mouths like the
cork from champagne.
Queenie
I was christened Victoria Buxton. My mother had wanted me to be christened
Queenie but the vicar had said, "No, Mrs Buxton, I'm afraid Queenie
is a common name."
"Common!" my mother had replied. "How
can it be common? It's a queen's name." The vicar had then
given an impromptu sermon which my mother, father and their gathered guests
had to listen to as they stood round the stone font in our bleak local
church. The vicar went on at length about monarchs having proper names
like Edward, George, Elizabeth while everyone, dressed in their pinching
church-best shoes began to shift from foot to foot and stifle yawns behind
their scrubbed hands. "Take our late queen," the vicar finally
explained, "her name, Mrs Buxton, was not queen but Victoria."
So that was how - one thundery August day in
a church near Mansfield, dressed in a handed down white-starched christening
gown that wouldn't do up at the neck - I, the first born child of
Wilfred and Lillie Buxton, came to be christened Victoria yet called forever
Queenie.
My mother, Lillie, was an English rose. Flaxen
hair, a complexion like milk with a faint pink flush at her cheeks and
a nose that tipped up at the end to present the two perfect triangles
of her nostrils. She was a farmer's daughter and had hands that could
clasp like a vice, arms as strong as a bear's and hips that widened every
year until even the old men on the village green agreed they were childbearing.
My father, Wilfred, was a butcher - the
son of a butcher, the grandson of a butcher and the great-grandson of
a butcher. Father was ten years older than Mother and not very good looking.
Some said it was his good luck at courting and winning the hand of a lass
who had once won a village country maid contest that left his face with
that startled "You don't say" expression. The front of his hair
was cursed by a 'cow's-lick' that meant every day his hair fell in eccentric
wild swirls over his forehead. His bulbous fat hands were like great hams.
Broad, pink and fleshy with stubby fingers. He wore leather straps round
each wrist to protect them from the sharp blows of his butchering knives.
I thought those straps held his hands on to the ends of his arms. Leather
and three inches wide, they only came off when he had a bath on alternate
Saturday nights in front of the range in the kitchen. I had to bring
the hot water that rolled black grime down his skin like mud washing off
a wall, while the leather straps would be on the floor, still in the shape
of his wrists. Blackened manacles - worn, battered and bloody. I
never looked at the front of him in the bath in case I saw stumps where
his fat ham hands should have been.
There was a shed on our small farm, out of the back
door, across the yard and round a bit, where Father did his butchering.
Carts from the cold store, driven by young boys whose aprons were splattered
and smeared with dried blood and who smelt acrid like vinegar made from
rotting flesh, would come into the yard and dump the carcasses of slaughtered
cows, sheep and pigs. Father carried them over one shoulder into the shed.
And with sharpening, slicing, chopping, grunting, slopping noises, cows
were turned into topside, rump, sirloin, best rib, chuck, shin, brisket,
silver side. Lambs into leg, loin, best end, neck, breast, shank end,
chump chop, cutlet, scrag end, shoulder. And the pigs were turned from
snuffling muddy pink porkers that had been fed every morning on swill
boiled up in a copper, into heads, feet, hind, loin, knuckle, fillet,
belly, spare rib, blade bone. Or salted, cured and smoked in an outhouse
for bacon. The bits that had no name were squeezed into sausage skins,
extruded and twisted as Buxtons finest pork sausages. All the offal -
the liver, the kidneys, the hearts - was packed on to trays. The
fat was rendered down in a cauldron and set into lumps of lard. And anything
left after that was stuffed into a mincer. The bits that had fallen on
the top of the table were finest beef mince and the bits that were swept
off the floor were not. Father always dreamed of having sons - sons
who could sharpen, slice, chop and carry. Sons who would replace the stupid
boys he had to hire who stole cuts of meat when they thought he wasn't
looking, stuffing them under their caps and down their shirts.
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